1993 was the year of our tenth wedding anniversary and Eva and I were having a good time together. We were both extremely busy, so sometimes, when we were both stressed, we would fall out and argue about something. But it never lasted long. We eventually sat down and talked about what was going on and resolved the issues. Eva was running Mind Clearing training programmes as well as providing Clearing sessions for people. She also helped me in the business with a large research project into the effectiveness of cavity wall insulation. Our children were a continual source of stress. I fell out for a time with my youngest son Marcus. My oldest son Reuben was starting to drink too much and become obnoxious with it. Eva’s second husband, Brian, was having a hard time with his wife Annie – who at the time was working as my office manager. And at the University I was engaged with appointing a new Professor in the Systems Department.
I went on retreat early in January and found the three weeks alone an important respite. Whilst I was a way things came to a head between Brian and Annie. I invited Brian to join me on retreat, which he did for a few days. He needed the space to talk over all that was going on and to sort out his priorities. Whilst he was with me he said that he wanted to play me a song. He played a Leonard Cohen song “Famous Blue Raincoat” which is about a man going off with the singer’s wife. He drew attention to the following lines – lines he wanted to say to me:
“Thanks
For the trouble you took
From her eyes
I thought it was there for good
So I never tried”
It was a profound acknowledgement of my relationship with Eva, his previous wife, and marked a deepening of our friendship.
A few months later we heard that Satya and Skanda had separated and that there were ructions in Yogeshwar’s ashram in Australia. This was shocking, but not that surprising given what we had observed. It was a greater surprise a few months later when Yogeshwar telephoned me and asked whether he could come and stay with us for three months. Apparently he was under attack from people in the community in Australia, including Satya and he wanted somewhere to recover. After talking it over with Eva we agreed. We had both benefitted profoundly by the techniques that he had developed and disseminated; providing him with a refuge for a few moths seemed like a small gesture in return. We also thought we would be able to obtain first hand instruction on Sahaj Yog. We were apprehensive that he might want to set up a base in the UK and decided that if that is what he wanted he would have to do so himself.
Through various channels we heard that at the core of the disruption of the Adelaide ashram was the issue of Charles Berner having sex with female students. Apparently he also objected to Satya and Skanda separating, which was, at least in part, why Satya was so furious. This all caused us to re-examine whether we wanted Yogeshwar to come to stay. We decided that we still felt sufficiently indebted to him to honour our agreement for him to come. But we were more wary of taking any guidance or instruction from him. For all his spiritual awareness, at a human level he appeared to be causing a great deal of injury – especially to other peoples’ relationships. We received a barrage of faxes from Satya warning us to not have this terrible man in our house. I was struck by how Satya was casting herself a complete victim in the whole drama when she had enjoyed two decades of privilege and high status from the man she now demonised. I wrote her a long letter, the key paragraphs of which are:
I can see the hurt that you and Skanda experienced and I can guess at the agony of the people in the community in Australia. And I am certain that anything that causes this much distress and pain is not dharmic – it is not the way to Truth and Love – and I want nothing to do with it. But I also know, not just as an idea, but from my own experience, that everyone involved had choice. It may not have seemed like it at the time – but there were choices all along the way. Everyone involved in the practices was an adult making conscious choices. It is clear to me that Yogeshwar is a great man in the sense that he has insights and abilities that can help many people to gain more Truth in their life. It is equally clear that he is stuck in various ways; in particular in self delusion, power and sexual gratification. These issues have had a major impact on others because of his gifts of love, insight and ability. But everyone involved still had their choice.
It is clear to me that there were lots of ‘goodies’ on the path to ruin. Being Yogeshwar’s favourite, being in his inner circle, being set up as his best disciple, as his emissary – being special. These were big pay-offs for everyone involved – including you. So whilst the central figure gets his rocks off on the power, sex and adoration so all the acolytes are getting their rocks off being special. This is classic cult stuff. And I have to question whether I am falling into the same trap by putting up a disgraced guru.
I am still going ahead because Yogeshwar, you and Skanda have changed my life out of all recognition. I still run my life; it is 100% me making the choices and decisions. I have not become a student to any of you, but have learned enormously from you all. Most directly from you on a 2-week and then a 6-week. What I have gained is invaluable; I could never repay that debt. Now I see you all struggling, but it doesn’t reduce my gratitude. If anything it makes it more real. What I received did not come from paragons of virtue, it came from real and fucked up people not dissimilar to me. So I’m not going to turn my back on Yogeshwar, nor on you. So if there is anything that I can do that would be of assistance to you personally right now please let me know.
Eva and I went away to the Lake District to celebrate our 10th anniversary. We had a great time and stayed in some amazing hotels as well as camping wild for a few nights. Eva was worried that Yogeshwar would undermine our relationship in some way and was intent on looking at anything that might not be right between us. I was more confident that we would be able to work stuff out together and felt that the trip he was most likely to try on us would be the ‘specialness trip’, for which being fore warned was the best defence.
I collected Yogeshwar, and his consort Darshana, from the airport and helped them settle into the top floor of our house. They had their own kitchen and bathroom there and chose to eat most of their meals alone. We had regular evening talks with them both and were surprised to hear their version of events. Yogeshwar was admitting nothing and claimed that it was part of his spiritual path to allow people to think badly of him! We gave up trying to find common ground between what what we had heard and what Yogeshwar and Darshana were now telling us. Instead we used the times together to talk about Intensives, Sahaj Yog and Truth. This was helpful.
For example Yogeshwar pointed out that by running several Intensives a year and interviewing people who had enlightenment experiences I would be pushing my own purification and would likely suffer kundalini releases. When I reflected on the times that I thought I had had such releases I could see that they were indeed triggered by being in Divine contact with someone having a powerful experience – starting with Kala on the six-week.
Yogeshwar spent a great deal of time talking about Sahaj Yog; hardly surprising since it had been his main practice for about 25 years. He explained that it was unhelpful to let people know what to expect in their meditation. If what they had been told occurred they would not know whether it had arisen because they had been told about it or whether it was just arising from their surrender to the Divine. This made complete sense and was consistent with Enlightenment Masters not disclosing the content of other people’s experiences for exactly the same reason. Nevertheless when we privately discussed what was occurring in our meditation, Yogeshwar several times pointed out significant experiences and was able to put them in a larger context that made sense. In my case he was able to give me a bigger picture about the sexual fantasies and images that had been a feature of my meditation for some time and on which Satya had failed to provide any guidance. Given the concealed sexual activities in the community I now understood why Satya was so reticent!
In the conversations there were several clear occasions when Yogeshwar sought to make us out to be ‘special’. However having figured out that this was a potentially seductive issue we were able to avoid being caught by it in any way. Because he was the originator of the two processes we taught to other people, namely Enlightenment Intensives and Mind Clearing, we organised two groups, one at our house and one in London, so people who came to our groups could meet him and discuss issues with him. Those groups were useful in enabling other people to form their own judgements about him, judgements that were not always favourable.
I was struck by how he refused any type of feedback. He genuinely regarded himself as one of the most enlightened people on the planet, and in his view this gave him grounds for dismissing comments or feedback from anyone else. For me, a recent student of the significance of feedback in all kinds of systems, it was a fatal error and left him prone to self-delusion. From what we had heard from members of his ashram in Australia, his behaviour had clearly caused a significant degree of injury to others and involved concealing a lot of dubious sexual activity. For someone to be acting in this way and refusing any feedback from anyone was clearly stupid. So although I was in no position to judge his degree of enlightenment, I felt confident in judging his approach to relating and susceptibility to self delusion. He provided me with a very powerful lesson on how an intelligent person who had clearly had many profound experiences of the Divine could go so completely wrong! I made a promise to myself to always ensure that I had adequate feedback loops in place to ensure I did not become as deluded as Yogeshwar clearly was. The only feedback loops that could work would be people giving me their honest opinion about what I was up to.
There were aspects of Yogeshwar’s behaviour that we observed whilst he stayed with us that we found unacceptable. He treated Darshana more like a slave than as his partner (in a sexual and spiritual sense). He was clearly fixated on the idea that the stock market was about to crash – and had been for many years. I learned that his father had lost a fortune in the crash of 1929/30 and he had clearly not ever recovered from that. He compulsively watched TV and ate biscuits whenever they were available. He also had really bad breath all the time. I judged these as traits of a fairly screwed up human being, not the behaviours of an enlightened Yoga Master! There was only one occasion when I saw him being completely present, and that was when I asked him to tell me about his guru, Kripalu. As he talked about Kripalu he went into a state indistinguishable from that of a person having a direct experience on an Intensive. So I knew he knew the Divine and had access to it, but it was not informing his life outside the meditation room.
Many years later, as part of my teaching of systems thinking, I was introduced to adult development theory which helped me understand Yogeshwar, and other gifted teachers, a great deal better. It is well known that as a child grows up it goes through a series of stages of intellectual, emotional and physical development. What is less well known is that these development sequences do not necessarily cease when someone reaches the age of 18 or 21 – or any age at all. Indeed there is good evidence to support the idea that adults can continue to develop intellectually, emotionally, socially and spiritually throughout their lives. What is also clear from this work is that people who are gifted in one ‘line of development’ are not necessarily well developed in other ways. The archetype for this is the intellectually gifted professor who is emotionally and socially incompetent. The evidence available suggests that another archetype is the spiritually gifted teacher who is immature when it comes to handling sexuality and power issues. With only a few exceptions all the spiritual teachers of the last 50 years have misbehaved sexually; Yogeshwar was just one of many. As will become clear later in this exposition it was having a profoundly satisfying sexual relationship with Eva that saved me from similar misbehaviour.
Yogeshwar warned me several times about the dangers of remaining active in the world and also undertaking Sahaj Yog and other spiritual practices. He was certain that I would find it impossible to pursue both. He said it was like having one foot each side of a widening chasm, eventually I would fall into the abyss. There were several reasons why I did not heed this advice. The first was that he was clearly a ‘failed guru’; so there was a good chance that his advice was incorrect. The second was that I felt a strong connection to the Bodhisattva vow which went directly against Yogeshwar’s teaching of prioritising personal liberation. (The Bodhisattva prioritises facilitating other people’s liberation and remaining in the world whilst doing so.) Finally, I remained determined to find my own way – though why this was so strong is not clear. I also trusted that if I went ‘off course’ in some sense my wise man would provide warnings and advice enough.
After staying with us for about 10 weeks Yogeshwar and Darshana left and returned to Australia. We were slightly relieved to see them go – but were pleased that we had in some small way repaid part of our debt to the man. I noticed an improvement in my Sahaj Yog meditation. I judged this because I found it easier to know when I was surrendering. I frequently went into spontaneous yoga postures, I also often went into ‘yogic dreams’ and, perhaps most significantly, I found that I came out of the meditation feeling refreshed and energised. I also noticed that I felt clearer in my dealings with other people, particularly relationships that were potentially stressful. Indeed, had I not noticed an improvement in my life outside the meditation room I would probably have ceased the practice.
In describing what happens on Enlightenment Intensives I have deliberately avoided using the words ‘enlightenment’ and ‘God’ because they carry a host of different meanings and other intellectual baggage with them. However, having Yogeshwar come to stay with us forced me to examine very carefully what I, and Eva, meant by ‘spiritual progress’. In the process of Intensives, we noticed that what was required of people was to be completely open to who they actually were. This was particularly difficult for people who had some ideal that they were aiming to live up to. It did not matter whether the ideal was therapeutic, spiritual or based in a religion – it would become a significant obstacle for the person to overcome in their struggle to discover who they actually are. In the end the person had to accept who they were in the moment, neuroses, warts, farts and all. Only then would they be able to connect to “who I am” and present it to their partner. So, our conception of what was spiritual diverged significantly from the widespread notions of ‘holiness’, ‘enlightenment’ and the dogmas associated with different traditions. In retrospect I can see that this is part of why I rejected Yogeshwar’s conception of Yogic liberation; it was another ideal that had the potential to take the individual away from the current reality. Again, with the wisdom of hindsight I can see that these ideas were influential in determining the path that Eva and I were taking together. We were already aiming to be more real, more present and more accepting of whatever we were actually experiencing – rather than conform to some predetermined ideal of being spiritual or enlightened.
There was another reason why Eva and I were not willing to sign up to any of the recognised spiritual disciplines – we were enjoying drugs, sex and pleasure far too much to subscribe to the puritanical component in almost all spiritual disciplines. This was a real problem and one that was partially resolved on my next retreat. On the retreat I became aware of an inner conflict caused by my use of alcohol and cannabis. I noticed that after an evening drinking alcohol my meditation was significantly less focussed and rewarding. After smoking a joint the disruption to my meditation lasted for several days. So although I was not using alcohol or cannabis frequently, even sporadic use was a severe impediment to my meditation. As a result of this I undertook a negotiation between hedonist, who wanted to get stoned more often, pilgrim, who wanted less intoxication so he could enjoy meditation and my Self, who was going to adjudicate between them.
I used a Gestalt negotiation structure in which I sat on different cushions to give voice to each of the parts of myself involved. It became clear very quickly that everyone regarded how I was living my life as unsatisfactory. Hedonist was fed up with pilgrim muttering in the background every time I became stoned or just wanted to enjoy myself. Pilgrim was fed up of having lousy meditations for days whilst recovering from alcohol or cannabis. And I was an unhappy spectator to the conflict. What hedonist wanted was a period when he could just enjoy himself without a carping pilgrim moaning in the background. What pilgrim wanted was a long enough period free from intoxicants that he could just enjoy meditating and go deeper. So, the negotiation focussed on the idea of having periods of hedonism and periods of meditation. In the end it was established that a pattern of three months of pleasure and then three months of pure meditation would satisfy everyone. When I returned home and proposed this to Eva she was delighted and was very happy to go along with the agreement. Implementing it was tricky because we wanted holidays, birthdays and other celebrations to be in hedonistic periods and Intensives to be in pilgrim phases. But it was a pattern by which we lived for the next six years – until we moved away from the Old Manor House.
A couple of months after my retreat I participated in an Intensive in Cornwall run by someone Eva and I had trained a few years earlier. I was working on ‘what is another’ – which means I was aiming to directly experience the Truth of what another person was. I had several moments during the Intensive when I thought I had an experience, but I could not be sure. So, after I had been home for a while I asked my wise man for his assessment of what happened. He said:
Well you certainly experienced something, you are still glowing. You touched on the Divine several times – but your ego jumped in each time wanting to evaluate it and claim it for itself. You spotted this toward the end of the Intensive and it is going to be a severe liability for you participating in Intensives. You have become so accustomed to evaluating other people’s experiences it is hard to refrain from doing the same for yourself. However it is your contact with the Divine that has given you your energy and creativity. You should aim to surrender all this, including the desire to evaluate, to the Divine in your meditation. And you need to pay attention to having more quiet time in your life. You are starting to take the right steps by hiring more people in the business – just take more time for yourself and be humble.
For some time I had found it hard to participate in an Intensive without evaluating how other people were engaging with the process and generally being aware of all the factors involved in running an Intensive. My ‘Master mind’ was always on alert. Now it seemed that the aspect of my mind that was so sharp at spotting when I was critical or caught in a trip was also a problem – it was jumping in to evaluate all my experience, including possibly Divine experiences.
Eva and I had a fabulous two week holiday in Crete. We established a pattern of going for a long walk one day and then resting on a beach the next day or two. We were stoned about four times during the holiday and had some amazing conversations. One in particular stands out. It started with Eva asking me “Do you think I’m brilliant?” A short while later she said “the pause is already too long!” This started a conversation that forced me to examine and accept my own intellectual brilliance.
I have a lot of reservations about stating or claiming my intellectual ability. There are only four or five people I know who are as intelligent as me – and I have interacted with a lot of smart people. I hold back stating I am brilliant, even to myself, because I fear it is unacceptable to others and that it is just a giant ego trip. I have a history of finding my intelligence unacceptable. My mother called me a bighead all the time. My first wife hated me because I was smarter than she was. Eva accepts my intellect – in fact she really likes it and she is the first woman I have been with who loves it. Eva and I are intellectually compatible. I had never seen it before because I had focussed on the emotional and sexual aspects of relationships, but the real incompatibility with me and all women prior to Eva was intellectual. What a blind spot! And I was blind to it because I didn’t own my ability.
One aspect that has forced me to recognise and acknowledge my intellectual ability is that if I don’t then I make serious errors estimating other people’s ability. Then I criticise them for not being good enough or too slow! I can see there is a fine line between being superior (the ego getting puffed up) and being unreasonably critical (due to over-estimating other people’s abilities). If I could get this right it would solve a lot of the problems I have had working with other people.
This was a real turning point in my relation to my own intellect and did make a great deal of difference to my work relationships. I also noticed that by accepting the power of my intellect I was a lot less likely to behave arrogantly. I could see that being arrogant was a way of showing how smart I was – which was an indirect way of communicating my smartness. Once I accepted my smartness there was no need to show it off or talk about it – it was just how it was.
A few weeks after returning from Crete I ran another two week Intensive and Eva chose to participate on it. It was a good Intensive. There were 19 participants of whom 8 had very clear and powerful experiences of the Divine. For three day Intensives the long run average is for between 25% and 33% of the participants to have an experience. On the two week Intensives I ran the average was creeping up towards 50%. However I was exhausted afterwards and noticed that I wanted to indulge myself with alcohol and sex. I visited my wise man for some advice. He said:
The most important thing happening to you at the moment is a reaction to running the two week. As your ego reasserts control it wants gratification for having been kept out of the picture for so long. The reaction is an inevitable result of being so wilful. Do your best to be moderate.
You ran a good Intensive. What made it good was your love of the Truth, your willingness to be open and your love for the participants. It was you, Jake, who made it a good Intensive. God bless you for that and for sharing yourself so fully with them.
Two weeks later I was still suffering from exhaustion so I again asked my wise man for further advice. He said:
The way you can help yourself recover is too fast, to clean up your diet, exercise more and rest more. You will find it difficult whilst you are so busy with stuff – but it’s important to do what you can.
There is no way to Master a long Intensive that is not exhausting and to some degree debilitating. Stepping into the role of being the Master means that you suppress aspects of yourself. Also you are required to be open to the participants – which means you frequently get blasted emotionally. Keeping yourself together under these conditions is very stressful. So being a good Master involves an inevitable level of suppression and wilful activity which is very exhausting.
I ran another 3-day at the end of 1994, which was fine, and the one after that was in Dec 1995. The reason for the year long gap was quite simple, my life was extremely busy with the business, family and University. But my personal growth was not standing still. In February 1995 Eva and I had another important stoned conversation. The starting point was my sense that I was caught in working too hard, indeed quite a few of my friends and colleagues saw me as a workaholic. Despite serious self-reflection on the issue I could not find how I was being caught. At this point Eva asked me “what is it that gets you to do so many things?”
I went down layers of thoughts and ideas. At the bottom I had this motivation that was wordless. I said it was my vision. It was to help everyone see the goodness in everything and everyone. To foster love. To live in harmony. But this did not really get it. I felt as powerless to describe this vision as to describe a direct experience.
I was struck by how precious and non-verbal the vision is. And it does underlie everything that I do – it is always there. It’s why I do things so passionately. It’s the source of my charisma and inspiration. I tried to realise the vision in ERG. I had more success in the Systems Department. My involvement with energy is based in the vision. But the big problem is that the ego gets involved with the process of bringing the vision into reality. The vision is like a pure drive towards love and goodness. But in the process of making it manifest the ego gets involved and things can, and do, go horribly wrong as a result.
I think this divine inspiration is in everyone. How we respond to it is our choice. In a way we all strive to bring that goodness and love into life. The biggest issue for me is the involvement of the ego. I am deeply suspicious of this stoned trip. I’ve been working for a year accepting how clever I am. Now I’m struggling to accept a vision that involves divine inspiration. What an ego trip! This is what megalomaniacs get into!
This morning, as I started to write this up, I recognised that I was terrified of my ego fucking up my divine inspiration. I couldn’t stand it. I remembered giving up the energy guru role because I knew I was screwing up. I was grateful to Peter for recognising it and getting out – and I didn’t want to end up in that position again.
There is still a part of me resisting the whole thing. “It is too good to be true!”. But I know it is true. I have to find a way of owning that I have a profound connection to ‘a vision’ or ‘divine inspiration’ and keep my ego at bay. I’ve actually known about it at some level for a long time. Enlightenment Intensives have provided me with an ideal environment within which to sort this out. I was driven to run Intensives because it was a perfect way to bring more goodness into the world. And, as Eva suggested, I should behave more like a Master in my business life – giving inspiring lectures, making clear contracts, establishing processes that work and respecting everyone’s right to find their own version of truth.
What was very helpful about these insights was that they dispelled the notion that I worked hard for a neurotic reason. At the same time, I found it depressing to know that I was doomed to working hard – and regularly feeling completely exhausted. I did visit my wise man to check out that I had understood all this correctly. He said:
Everyone has a connection to the Divine, the Source. Some people have a stronger connection that others – and you are in that category. And it is that inspiration that gets you to work hard – and it always has. What’s wrong with working hard? Do you think that Mother Theresa is a workaholic? Do you think Ghandi was a workaholic? If a person is Divinely inspired what else can they do?
In April Eva ran an Intensive on which I participated. I wanted to reconnect to my Self, so worked on “Who am I?” I had a very nice, simple experience on the third day; “I am just me”. When I reflected on what I had gained from the Intensive I realised that I had uncovered a big issue.
To what degree is my belief that I have not been cared for valid? It is a self-sealing belief. Believing it I will not see others caring for me – I’ll explain their behaviour in some other way. I’ll also be ungrateful. Even if they started out caring for me they would soon give up in the face of my attitudes. It is my belief that no one cares for me that gets me to look after myself so well – and not leave any room for anyone else to care for me. Maybe it’s time for me to give up this belief!
This was a major shift, but one that took many more years to bear fruit. I was shocked when reading this journal entry to realise that it is only in the last ten years or so, some 12 years after the entry, that I really started to allow myself to feel cared for. I continue to be amazed at how long it takes to undo these very basic scripts.
The Intensive I ran in December 1995 had 24 participants – close to the capacity of our house. There were not many experiences, maybe 4 or 5, which is lower than the average for a group of this size. However, there was one experience that stood out. The participant was an American who lived and worked in Paris. His therapist regularly sent people to my Intensives when she thought it would be of benefit. The man in question wrote to me explaining that he was on anti-depressants and steroids (for allergic reactions). I wrote back and said that if he wanted to gain the most from participating he should, with the help of the doctor who prescribed these drugs, aim to be free of them for at least a week before the Intensive. He complied with this request and arrived with a slight sniffle due to his allergies. During the Intensive his allergies became a lot worse – in part because the house was old and dusty, but also because we had wool carpets everywhere. He spent most of the communication exercises complaining bitterly about how he felt, how his allergies were driving him nuts, how he missed the steak and red wine that he loved in Paris and how for him English vegetarian food was as close to hell as he ever wanted to be. The complaints were pretty non-stop. Whenever I checked how he was doing the process I was satisfied that he was simply reporting what came into his consciousness when he was open to “who I am”.
The complaining was starting to annoy other participants and by the middle of the second day I could see people avoiding sitting opposite to him – they didn’t want to hear yet again how bad things were for him. When it was time for the evening walk I remained in the room for a while answering participants’ questions and giving advice on how to contemplate more deeply. Finally everyone was done and I put my coat on to go out and walk myself. As I opened the back door of the house to go out there was this complaining participant, arms outstretched beaming all over his face. “I was just coming to see you”, he said, “I am Joy! I have spent all my life trying to find joy in others and now I’ve discovered that I am joy and this is what I have to give to others!” My mouth dropped open and I just cried with the beauty emanating from him. He really was a joy to behold. He was radiating! He had been steadily doing the process correctly and had been open enough for the experience to occur.
As I write this some 23 years later there are tears in my eyes remembering his face. It was one of the most amazing turnarounds I have ever witnessed – and made the whole Intensive worthwhile. I was surprised at how little I had written about the experience in my journal; everyone on that Intensive remembers him – both for the incessant complaining for two days and then as a being radiating joy for the third day.
Reading on in my journal I noticed that shortly after this Intensive my right shoulder started to give me pain. The pain steadily became worse and when I finally went to my osteopath to have it treated he told me that I had the beginning of a frozen shoulder. “There’s not much I can do to help”, he said. “It takes about 6 months to become fully frozen – by which time you’ll be unable to lift your hand higher than your shoulder. It will remain like that for about another six months and then take a further six months to get better. I’m telling you this now so you don’t waste a lot of money trying to have me or someone else sort it out. It just needs to run its course.” A few weeks after hearing the grim news from my osteopath I visited my wise man about a number of things that were happening to me – including a deep fear that I was in some way losing my connection to the Divine. My wise man was reassuring and said that a lot of the material that was bothering me was a purification brought on by another kundalini release. As I read this in my journal the penny dropped. I suffer kundalini releases when I witness profound direct experiences in someone else. This release had been triggered by the experience of Joy! It also made the news from my osteopath slightly less awful. My frozen shoulder was almost certainly a result of that kundalini release – and the blocks that were being encountered were slowly moving up my body!
Next.
A Master's Path 