By focusing on my own personal experience whilst writing this material, I am actually distorting reality. Actually it was Eva and I who were responsible for the Intensives. Eva trained to be a Master two years before I did. It was also her existing client base that provided most of the participants on our early Intensives. Her career as an enlightenment Master was curtailed by her difficulties in sleeping, especially when stressed. I, on the other hand, could fall asleep quickly and easily, stress or no stress. As a result I ended up Mastering all the long Intensives we put on, and Mastering the majority of the 3-day events. But running Intensives was central to our relationship from the time we participated together on Jeff Loves Intensive in 1980 to our last two week and Master’s Training in 2008. We discussed Intensives endlessly, monitored and participated on each other’s Intensives and accepted them as a core part of our life for 28 years. So for me, intimate relationships and Mastering Intensives have always been closely intertwined.
The intertwining has benefits going both ways. Mastering an Intensive can be a lonely activity because ultimately you are the one taking the responsibility for everything that happens. But having your partner and intimate friend supporting you can make the process a lot easier. Going the other way, the commitment to Truth and truth ensures that the intimate relationship will have a bedrock of trust and understanding that will help overcome the inevitable differences and misunderstandings. There are other benefits too.
When Eva and I started our relationship we both had unresolved issues with parents and from previous relationships. Participating on Jeff Love’s Intensive we both had experiences of who we actually are and this had a profound effect on our relationship. We shared the experiences with each other and from then on knew who the other really was – even in the middle of a screaming row. Furthermore we started doing dyads together on a regular basis and found that this provided us both with a space and a format for sharing deep material safely. We still do dyads together once a week 45 years later – and there are not many weeks that we have missed in those 45 years. So EIs also gave us some very helpful tools.
But these are the more superficial benefits of integrating your relationship and your Mastery. The real payoffs are in the realm of your personal growth and awareness. The core reason for this is that it is in your intimate relationship that you are called upon to be the most open – and when you are most open is when most trips and traumas will arise and demand to be dealt with. This is also the arena where you are likely to make the most projections – and discover that they are not real. In short your intimate relationship is the ideal forum in which to pursue your emotional and spiritual growth. And it works!
I’m aware that not many people follow this path of using their intimate relationship as the vehicle for personal and spiritual growth. So I want to try to convey what some of the benefits look like. Right now Eva and I are facing my imminent death; we know that our relationship will be coming to a final end. We are able to be open about this, to talk about our fear, our grief, and our love for each other completely openly. We still do dyads and now we often find ourselves sharing some new aspect of this ending. But we also deepen our contact and are able to make Divine contact – the sort of contact you have when interviewing someone who has just had a direct experience. We end up having significant kundalini releases and glow at each other. Eva literally looks about 18 years old – and she tells me I look less than 20! And this happens every time we meet like this. It is stunningly beautiful. And it doesn’t make the prospective loss harder – because we are fulfilling our relationship. There is nothing between us; we are completely open to the Divine in each other – and it is stunning. I wish this for you and your partner – and way before you are facing death .
We have been able to have this Divine contact together for at least the last10 years. At that time I was very struck by how it provided an infallible guide to whether there was anything between us – anything that was not being shared or resented and so on. I was also struck by how we had evolved a series of tools and processes that enabled us to reach this state of union. So I wrote a website about it that is still available – though it looks bit dated. It is here: https://relating-manual.com/ . It provides all you need to know in order to achieve Divine union and use your relationship to accelerate your personal and spiritual growth.
Another significant resource is the book Creating Union by Eva Pierrakos and Judith Saly. The first lines in the book are: If life is a school, relationship is its university. It is through our relationships, especially through our relationship with our love-partner, that we can learn and grow most. This book contains the deepest and most uncompromising expositions on what is involved in growing through relationships I have ever come across. Eva Pierrakos channelled information from a spiritual guide which was later assembled into this book (and others). Here is a chapter from the book titled The Spiritual Significance of Relationship. As you will see it is not an easy read – it was not intended to be. It was intended to be a clear description of how to make use of one’s intimate relationship to become more aware and eventually find union with God, Love, the Divine.
Before leaving the issue of relationships I must mention another benefit of having a profound intimate relationship on this path. It is simply that it enables you to handle kundalini relatively safely. One of the effects of a significant kundalini release is that it increases your libido enormously. I suspect that this is one of the reasons why so many spiritual teachers fall down by having sex with their students. They are incredibly horny and these beautiful young things are willing to have sex with them – why wouldn’t they! With a strong intimate relationship that increase in horniness can safely be directed into the relationship – with obvious benefits for everyone! Don’t underestimate the significance of this.
A Master's Path 
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